a whirlwind week // racism, love, cancer // weekly thought

Last week has been an ever changing rush of feelings–a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts and confusion in response to the chain of events that has happened in our nation. As I try to make sense of it all, tears fill my eyes when I think of those who are suffering  and those who are mourning.

Hatred and racism breeds from places of fear and insecurity. And it’s clear as ever to be reminded we must practice love, empathy, patience and understanding with one another. We must continue to stand with those who are marginalized and oppressed and raise our voices to be heard.

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Over the weekend Wayne and I celebrated the marriage union of our good friends, Kelsey and Dave, at an elegant outdoor ceremony in Newport Coast. Their officiant, Pastor Kim, gave a beautiful speech. What resonated with me is his wish for them to keep Christ at the center of their marriage and hearts. That is the perfect advice for a long-lasting marriage. When you have true Union with Christ, that is when you understand what it’s like to have Christ in you and you in Christ that you start asking WWJD and He guides you in life’s decisions with confidence. Just as long as the intense love for Jesus and the gospel is hearts center, the marriage will be just as everlasting. Because God is love.

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My heart broke again hearing the shocking news of my high school friend, Chelsey, pass away from breast cancer. She was diagnosed just two months ago and left this world too soon. She was a kind soul with a spark inside her. She is my symbol of hope and strength as she never once questioned her circumstance and was always the foundation for her family. She has a strong community behind her. The outpouring of love and support for her is beautiful. Chelsey–you are dearly missed and your spirit lives on in our hearts. Our thoughts, hearts and prayers are with your family. Please keep her husband and 9-month old daughter in your prayers.

If you know Chelsey from Cerritos High and/or want to help in any way, feel free to donate to her GiveForward page, here. Anything helps.

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It’s always difficult to find comfort when we’ve been rattled by violence and tragedy, but it sure is comforting that it’s our community who comes together, looking for hope and healing.

why i write // weekly thought

I have a friend who once asked me why I find my writing so important to me. Why I get the urge to write a letter to myself. Why I have post-it notes with phrases on the back of my phone. Why I analyze and interpret a song, book or movie.

On why I write: I write as my authentic form of creative, self-expression. Reminding me of how I felt at that moment. It immortalizes and serves as my time capsule into my thoughts, my loves, my beliefs, my hopes, my feelings. It’s how I learn from life. It’s an intimate relationship. Feeling my most vulnerable is when I’m most creative. It’s to be understood. I’d liked to look back to what I’ve expressed and be reminded of the fire within me, the obstacles I’ve overcome, the growth I’ve experienced and relenting to the fact that I’m still learning and will never stop changing.

I want to capture all the feels.

2015 recap // my transformation

2015 has been a transformative year. I’ve been on a personal and spiritual journey since my epiphany in March. I’m learning what it means to be a follower of Christ and discovering the path to true happiness and contentment. I’ve been challenged physically, intellectually and spiritually. The Lord has opened my eyes to the beauty around me, the fears that have enslaved me and the hunger for life within me.

Throughout 2015 I’ve composed phrases that have sparked compelling thoughts within me, about me.

When I think I am content with life, my earth shakes. I struggle. I fight. I learn. I adapt. I change. Through my transformation, I excel.

Embrace change. I hope I never stop learning and changing.

Happiness isn’t something you capture, it is something you create.

You are far more lost than you ever imagined and you are far more loved than you ever dare hoped.

Stop sleepwalking through life. Do great things with God’s gifts given to you.

 Live and Love with Purpose, Passion and Perseverance.

Pain is mental. Struggles build character. Challenge yourself to be the best you.

Fear is a friend who is misunderstood.

Work hard. Everyday is a new opportunity to be better.

Everything I have and everything that is good in my life is because of Him.

I’m thinking of starting a Weekly Thought to be published every Wednesday. Topics will range from growing up to body image to life’s lessons to passion and everything in between. Hope you stick around to hear what goes on in my brain!

My recap of 2014.

// 2015 photos

Hipster Bentley with homemade mustache cookie

Yosemite view at Cathedral Lakes hike

LACMA Lamps

Seattle city view

Yosemite

Oregon coast at sunset

Kauai

Succulents at Terranea

Wildlife Deer at Yosemite Valley